What's In My Ears


Monday, June 30, 2008

Something on my mind

For now, I consider myself an aspiring Hollywood film director. It's a big dream in itself, I know, but it's a hard dream as well. A hard dream for me.

You see, I'm a Christian. Not one of those sappy elitists who tell you to do something and then themselves do something different. No, I'm a Christian. I've lived my life for God through the good and bad for four, almost five years now. I love God and I try everyday to make my time here useful to him.

When I started studying the Bible, my dad worked with me and told me why he believed and such. After he told me his reasons though, he told me that they didn't matter. He told me that I needed to find my own reasons for why I believe and what I live for. He told me to find a verse in the Bible and use it as the doctrine for my life. Now, don't get me wrong, the entire Bible is my doctrine. I don't just pick and choose the parts I like. Anyhow, Daddy said that I should find one verse or passage that really sums things up for me. What my life is based on. But, as easy as that sounds, I've had a hard time finding something. I really have! I mean, I know why I believe. Give me the time of day and I'll be ecstatic to tell you all about it. However, I never really knew what my belief meant for my life. Not entirely anyway. Not until now. Recently, after nearly five years of looking, I finally found my verse.

"Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
- 1 Corinthians 10:31

And this brings be back to Hollywood. As you know, California is not known to be the most friendly place. Well, no, they do seem to be the most accepting people. Oh, you're gay? Don't worry, we love homosexuality. You refuse to get treatment for the drug problem you know you have? That's great! You just flushed your life down the toilet because of your arrogant, lying, cheating ways? No problem! Actually, it seems that the one thing they can't accept or get along with is Christianity.

So, this isn't exactly the best place for a person like me to be and stay true to what they believe. And yet, I march on. Right now, I'm not even sure why. All I know is that I want to do what I love and I want to glorify God in the process.

Am I afraid? I'm shaking in my boots. *laughs* And it sure didn't help when I was doing research on the filming industry. One book called Inside Hollywood had this to say about the people in the business: "Yet scoundrels abound: Lying is a common business practice, deception taken for granted, cheating often rewarded, greed a given." Then, just yesterday afternoon I was looking a bumper stickers on Facebook and found this sticker:


I will be attending the New York Film Academy in New York City. This is the world I'm going into.

Now, I could so easily back off and do something else. I could be a librarian, graphic designer, web page designer, mechanic, writer. All jobs that I have considered before. But, I promised myself that I wouldn't live the life everyone else lived. I want to do great things. Most importantly, though, I promised God that I would do his will, and I know his will for me is to overcome my fear and do my part in helping others come to know the God who is far better than some people allow him to be.

All in all, if comes to this: If I'm going to be a light to the world, I might as well go to a notoriously dark place. End of story.

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