I have survived!!

This past school year has been the hardest school year for me, bar none. I've faced new, very different people, Freshman, and myself.

I really can't even describe all that I've felt. While I was still in Indy, I was confident in my ability to adapt to change. I was convinced I could handle it. After all, I love change. Oh gosh. No one has the ability to handle this. Since I got here, I've gradually fallen deeper and deeper into the realization that I'm simply not happy here. And that's pretty big for me to admit, even if its just to myself.

I also believed that I could handle the new people. I thought that I was a strong enough person to take on everyone. I would have sworn that I was happy enough being unique. I've now come to the understanding that I was, maybe even am, nothing without my best friend (yeah, that's right, I'm talking about you M). In fact, my so-called "originality" has suffered this past school year. Don't die M, I'm not giving in yet.

I think this would be a good time to mention at least something small that's good. As I started seeing the changes in me, I decided that I couldn't rely on other people to give me confidence. So, I developed a dream. I've been lacking a dream, or really any sort of belief in myself. My dream involves in me being different and set aside, which I think is how it should be. It will also involve a lot of work and it will test my character in more ways than one, but I truly believe that I can do it. And...I don't think I'll settle for less, as terrible as that sounds.

I've also noticed that there is actually a very large difference between Sophomores and Freshman! Shocker! It's not that they're completely stupid or anything, it's that they're completely immature in the ways of high school and being a teenager. M said it best: Freshman year is like an extended 8th grade year. You're not in middle school, but you certainly don't act like a high schooler. I can't figure them at all, but hey, this is the LAST time that I'll have to live with any of this. Even though I'll never be able to avoid the fact that I will still graduate with half the diploma than I would've if I were back at my other school.

And I think that may be all that I can put into words right now. All I can really say to conclude this is I AM SO GLAD ITS OVER!!! The school year, that is. My issues with the move will continue. Ugh. :]