Something on my mind

For now, I consider myself an aspiring Hollywood film director. It's a big dream in itself, I know, but it's a hard dream as well. A hard dream for me.

You see, I'm a Christian. Not one of those sappy elitists who tell you to do something and then themselves do something different. No, I'm a Christian. I've lived my life for God through the good and bad for four, almost five years now. I love God and I try everyday to make my time here useful to him.

When I started studying the Bible, my dad worked with me and told me why he believed and such. After he told me his reasons though, he told me that they didn't matter. He told me that I needed to find my own reasons for why I believe and what I live for. He told me to find a verse in the Bible and use it as the doctrine for my life. Now, don't get me wrong, the entire Bible is my doctrine. I don't just pick and choose the parts I like. Anyhow, Daddy said that I should find one verse or passage that really sums things up for me. What my life is based on. But, as easy as that sounds, I've had a hard time finding something. I really have! I mean, I know why I believe. Give me the time of day and I'll be ecstatic to tell you all about it. However, I never really knew what my belief meant for my life. Not entirely anyway. Not until now. Recently, after nearly five years of looking, I finally found my verse.

"Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
- 1 Corinthians 10:31

And this brings be back to Hollywood. As you know, California is not known to be the most friendly place. Well, no, they do seem to be the most accepting people. Oh, you're gay? Don't worry, we love homosexuality. You refuse to get treatment for the drug problem you know you have? That's great! You just flushed your life down the toilet because of your arrogant, lying, cheating ways? No problem! Actually, it seems that the one thing they can't accept or get along with is Christianity.

So, this isn't exactly the best place for a person like me to be and stay true to what they believe. And yet, I march on. Right now, I'm not even sure why. All I know is that I want to do what I love and I want to glorify God in the process.

Am I afraid? I'm shaking in my boots. *laughs* And it sure didn't help when I was doing research on the filming industry. One book called Inside Hollywood had this to say about the people in the business: "Yet scoundrels abound: Lying is a common business practice, deception taken for granted, cheating often rewarded, greed a given." Then, just yesterday afternoon I was looking a bumper stickers on Facebook and found this sticker:


I will be attending the New York Film Academy in New York City. This is the world I'm going into.

Now, I could so easily back off and do something else. I could be a librarian, graphic designer, web page designer, mechanic, writer. All jobs that I have considered before. But, I promised myself that I wouldn't live the life everyone else lived. I want to do great things. Most importantly, though, I promised God that I would do his will, and I know his will for me is to overcome my fear and do my part in helping others come to know the God who is far better than some people allow him to be.

All in all, if comes to this: If I'm going to be a light to the world, I might as well go to a notoriously dark place. End of story.

I finished Ch. 1! How did that happen?

It's true! I actually finished writing the first chapter of AF: Cage Rattlers!! And I really don't know how it happened! I just sort of started working on pieces of it at the library just for the sake of writing and then POOF!! I finished up the chapter yesterday. I actually can't remember the last first chapter I wrote (and I have written many) that was actually good. I hope this isn't a bad omen for my story. Then again, I can't very well publish a story I haven't written.

Anywho, I now have something to post. It wasn't what I originally hoped to post, but that segment will come in its own time. In the mean time, I'll post part of my brand spankin' new chapter one!! Oh, and don't worry, M. You'll still be the first to read it (well, you're probably the only one who reads this blog anyway), I'll send you out a copy after I make revisions...'cause this is a very rough draft.

~Voila!! Chapter One: Captain (or at least a piece of it)~


Normally, the harbor was one of the few places in the city whose beauty remains intact. Its cerulean blue hue was so pure and perfect that it's easy to forget the city that lied just behind it. The ocean breeze would carry to the shore in just the perfect way, as sea breezes often do. The sun would sparkle and everything will be contented.

But not today. Today gray clouds loomed overhead with the threat of rain, the salty breeze was replaced with a late-winter chill, and the water, which usually satisfied every pleasure of the hand, only felt wet and cold. However, the weather only slightly depressed Aidan. He had seen worse things. Aidan ran his hand along the railing of the outlook, frightening the many seagulls that perched there. They squawked unhappily at him as they flew off in search for another rail.

As he curved around more shops, his destination came into view. It was just another outlook appearing just the same as every other one lining the cliff. Aidan supposed that was the point. All the same, Aidan continued on towards the designated outlook, but as a row of benches came into view, Aidan saw that someone was already sitting in the place where Aidan was supposed to meet his captain. The "someone" was a boy maybe a little younger than Aidan with shaggy silvery blonde hair. He was lying on his back with his hands behind his head across one of the benches staring up at the dark sky.

~Now here's another part for you!! (this is much later in the chapter)~


"As you can tell," Sebastien said breaking Aidan's train of thought, "we're part of Nine. Your new teammates."

"Part?" Aidan asked.

"Yeah, there are nine of us, including the captain, but now that you're here we're an even ten."

"Which is the limit to how high Sebastien can count," joked Oz. "So we'd better not get anyone else." Oz, Jed, and Sebastien erupted into laughter. Even Leon and Ace smiled.

"I might as well send you back to the country now if you're going to be chit-chatting rather than working," said a harsh female voice obviously directing her comments at Aidan. "And you," now referring to the others, "aren't you supposed to be doing something constructive?"

The others each went off to their previous positions.

Aidan turned around to see a tall, striking young woman who must have been a year, or perhaps even two years, younger than him. She stood just inside the door frame with her arms crossed, glaring at Aidan through icy hazel eyes. She wore a short dress with shorts underneath and bands covering her knees. Her long slivery blonde hair was held in two metallic shapes just behind and above her ears. The same types of metallic metal shapes were again used on her forearms as a sort of covering. Across her shoulder, she carried a brown leather sash, on which was a rectangular metal plate inscribed with .

Sometimes you just have to laugh

There are some things in life that are so stupid and/or terrible that you can't help but laugh. This and all the irony seems to be my greatest source of humor nowadays. Sure, I'd much rather laugh with M or make foghorn sounds with a slushy cup at Target, but that's simply not how my life is working right now.

And so I laugh at what I can:

One example just happened earlier this week, but apparently has been in the making since winter. In mid to late December, our heater upstairs broke. Alright, stop there. Let me clarify something. My house is two stories tall. We have two heating/air conditioning units, one for the upstairs and one for the downstairs. Now back to the story. So, our heater upstairs broke in the dead of winter. It wasn't too bad, being upstairs and all. I mean, we had heat downstairs so we weren't shivering as we ate and we just put extra blankets on our beds to sleep comfortably. The only problem was that the parts that were needed to fix the heating unit were being held up for some reason, so we kept on freezing. Finally, in early to mid February, the repair men got the needed part and fixed the heating unit. Of course, by this time in the South, its already warm enough that it wasn't desperately needed.

Then, this week on Sunday, my family and I come home from church to discover that the air conditioner upstairs isn't working. Oh joy! I had already decided that I would never get used to the hot and humid climate down here. It just doesn't make sense that it could be this humid outside with out there being rain involved. Also, it amazes me how cool 90 degrees feels after 6 straight 102 degree days. So, here's the thing. It's been 95 degrees outside all this week, and now I have to sleep upstairs in it. We opened windows and had fans going, but it still didn't get cool enough to really sleep until about 1 am. Fortunately, the repair men gave us an estimate and fixed it within two days (thank God it wasn't any longer than that).

However, the repair men left a wake. While they were installing the new thermostat upstairs, they hit a wire or something, loosing all the electricity in both my brother's room and mine. Zero electricity moving through my room. I just had to laugh. If its not one problem, its bound to be another. So, we had electricians in our house this morning to fix it. At least we didn't have to pay for this. That's a pretty big bonus for us.

Problems like this with our house happen often. Too often. It means that my family is always on their toes. We're always paying off all the appliances that have broken and have had to be replaced. Its very depressing when I stop to think about it. All the irony and unexpected twists of fate are only fun on the most outer levels. For instance, because of all these uninvited issues with everything, we can't afford to do things that actually matter quite a bit. One of those things being driver's education for me. I love to drive and I'm really ready to get my license right now, but I'm required to take the class which is something we simply can't do right now. I think I'm more bitter about it than I'd care to admit. Also, my new church here has a lot of events that go on during the summer. And I mean a lot! But everything costs a money (because most of them are trips). It sort of makes me the red-headed stepchild of the teens there. Its not altogether fun.

Then again, there are always good things. A silver lining if you will. I have a roof over my head (even if its leaking...not really). I have food in my stomach (most of the time, but that's my brother's fault), and I have air in my lungs, a book, some paper, a pen, and my wits about me. I'm sure I can survive on that.

Not to mention the never-ending stream of hysterical humor that gradually keeps moving me towards insanity. XD

My epiphany for the day

I think I've just had an epiphany. You know what? I'm going to be a Junior next year. I mean, obviously, but I've realized what that means. That means that I'm going to be a Junior.

How weird is that?

That means that I'm only four semesters away from graduating. I'm four semesters away from moving out and doing what I want! Part of me is ecstatic with that notion, but another part is shaking in her boots.

Moving out. That means that I'll be free to live where I want. I won't be weighed down to this place. I'll be able to leave the state (well, I do that just about every day, but that's beside the point). I'll finally be able to chase the dreams I've been longing for.

What a funny feeling. I'm thrilled and petrified all at the same time.

On a more basic level, though, that means that I'm going to be a Junior. That means that I'm going to be an upperclassman! No more Freshman and Wise-fools for me, I'm moving up with the big dogs! By the way, M, you'd better murder some apples for me in the Junior-Senior cafeteria this year!! LOL. ;D

Along with being an upperclassman, being a Junior also means that I'm eligible to attend the prom. Prom. Its like a curse word. *sigh* I didn't realize prom was part of a Junior year until my YA Librarian and I were discussing it. Ugh. Why?!?! Prom is annoying enough without feeling obligated to go to it. It might be fun to go to with friends (maybe I'll go up there and drag M to hers...that would be fun), but it's still prom. Prom is the perfect excuse for idiot teens to get drunk, reek some havoc, and sleep with their date. Its so disgusting. What happed to just having fun at a dance? Now its all about how much to spend on a dress, where to go for dinner, what limo would get the most reaction, and which hotel would be best to spend the night in. Bleh. No thanks.

But that aside, I'm still going to be a Junior. That's absolutely crazy.

Working hard for the Monopoly money!

Yeah, I feel sort of bad about writing this after reading your latest post, M, but I'm still sort of invigorated with a love of writing. I can't stop writing! If I'm not volunteering, I'm writing, and then when I'm not writing, I'm reading! All day!! 12 HOUR WORK DAYS!!!! But I'm currently only working for non-existent Monopoly money, but hey, if I keep writing, I could get published!!

Woot!

So yeah, I thought I'd take a break from my planning to talk about my planning (I've got a sort of "one-track" mind right now). Here are my ideas (only you, M, are likely to understand them, but if you can't, don't worry...its in code. XD):

First of all, I finally determined exactly how many books it would take to tell the story. I came up with five. Yes, five. Five whole novels to tell this story. Is that insane or what?! That's a series!! I'm going to write a series!! Yahoo!!!!!

Moving along, the first book is called AF: Cage Rattlers. It will start off with Katana picking up Aidan from the harbor and taking him to his new home, otherwise known as the Nine Headquarters (any better suggestions for the term "headquarters"?). From there, the story will be mostly introductions until teams Four and Seven find themselves in a pinch and Nine has to go save them. In this pinch, the captain of Four is killed (sadly) which kind of sets the mood for the world in which they live.

Now, I should have explained this sooner, but what I'm writing down here is very basic and rough. I have more detailed notes that I've taken, but even those are pretty simple. Also, I can't have people stealing all the ideas that will put me on the bestseller list, can I? ;P

The second book is titled AF: Masquerade. I'm not entirely sure how this book begins yet, but the first twist in the plot involves Axel being reveled. Axel, the character believed to have been dead the past two years and also believed to have been a trustworthy captain of Nouveau, is apparently working for the Council. Oops. So, needless to say, this stirs up all sorts of emotion all over Nouveau, but on a more serious note, Aidan must have his "chip" removed out of fear that Axel may try to use the new guy's newness to his advantage. After this, things go pretty normally, except for the whole Axel deal. Nine recovers a bomb and faces difficulty with that (call or e-mail me if you have specific questions). Finally, towards the end of the book, Katana is captured and must (basically) fight her way out. That's always fun.

The third book is AF: Catching Death. I love this title! You know how moms will say "You'll catch your death out there"? That's basically what this novel is filled with. For starters, the Council develops a toxin that sweeps through the city, infecting almost everyone in one form or another. Nearly one hundred citizens alone die from it. Not so good. So that sets the mood for the whole novel (because Nouveau is fighting against this throughout it all). After this, there is yet another dramatic "mission" by Nine (again, if you have questions, contact me). The Board then starts having to deal with threats and attacks brought on by some of the more annoying members of the Council. Finally, to close the book, half of the Nine is separated and is on the run from Council goons. Or, at least, they were goons until the Council decided to send robots after them instead. Oh joy.

The fourth book is AF: Retribution. The 4th book begins where the 3th book left off. Nine is still on the run, but they return pretty quickly into the novel. When they return, Katana goes off to a business meeting with her evil father. Yay! The rest of the novel, as far as I know, is fairly boring (unusually), that is, until Nine starts getting wind of a possible plot by the Council. They have no idea what it is, but they know that it's unlike any stunt they've pulled so far. Soon after their suspicions are confirmed by an outside source, the Council calls "check mate". All branches of Nouveau are simultaneously attacked and nearly wiped out. And that, my friends, is where this book ends. Oh the suspense.

The fifth and final book is AF: Ultimatum. This one starts with the survivors of the attack meeting to decide whether they will surrender peacefully or stand and fight knowing the odds are terribly against them. Katana stands and says that she will stay and see Nouveau through to the end. A small number of loyal people (ten, actually) follow her in her decision. Everybody else gives themselves up. How pathetic. Anywho, from then on, the small surviving group of Nouveau runs from place to place simply trying to stay alive. Luckily, after a short period of time, one member of the Council who had always been undecided on who to stand for suddenly leaves the Council and joins Katana in her cause. Together, they form a plan of attack and overthrow the Council. A happily ever after.

Comments are WONDERFULLY APPRECIATED!!!!!!! Please tell me what you think so I know I'm not sitting here at this dull computer screen for a dumb story!

Twilight (sigh, not again)

Okay, let me get this off my chest. If I don't, I'll become obsessed. And if that happens, there is a very good likelihood that I will shoot myself in the foot...with my dad's shotgun. That is precisely how much I can't stand liking (correction, loving) this book.

So yes, I've said it. I like the novel Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Even when I re-read it, it still got my heart rate up! I still can't think of the last book that caused a physical change like that in me! What's up with that?

However, as I told you, M, there were some things I didn't so much care for. The good news is, all of that was a result of Meyer's writing style which inevitably cannot be transfered into the movie. That's good. That's good because if those same problems end up being in the movie too, I'll shoot my other foot. God must be looking out for me. <3

Ugh! I can't even get myself to return the book back to the library! And I keep going back to YouTube to see the same THREE (count them, 3) videos that they have made for the movie!! Okay, breathe. I just need to breathe. Breathing in...breathing out. Good.

Maybe now would be a good time to take a break and watch my favorite videos. My three favorites happen to be on the official movie website for Twilight. Watch them! (that includes you M, and I am here and now officially recommending you, if not commanding you, to read Twilight if only for the sake of reading it before the movie comes out. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH!!!) By the way, the movies are under the "video gallery" section

http://twilightthemovie.com/

BUT WHY DOES ROBERT PATTINSON HAVE TO BE SO DARNED GOOD LOOKING?! Its funny, in the book, I was actually a little annoyed by Edward's good looks. But now I start drooling when I see the movie poster. Is that bad? I mean, I haven't had a healthy celebrity fascination in, gosh, I don't know how many years. Maybe its about time I had another one.

...Goodie. ^_^

Just to get this off my chest, here is my list of reasons why I am waiting so desperately for the movie to come out.

1) Rob Pattinson is gorgeous.

2) Rob plays the character Edward in a more creepy, curious way than Edward actually seems to in the book. This is VERY good. *drool*

3) Certain scenes have been modified so that they not only make more sense than they did in words, but they are also more fitting with the story and avoid all that terrible drama that I hate so much.

4) Certain scenes also take place in more reasonable settings. For example, a scene that is in a car in the book is suddenly in a forest (a very pretty one, I might add) in the movie.

*sigh* This is what happens when I've read only Twilight. That's right, I have not yet read New Moon or Eclipse.

Oh goodness...this cannot end well.

I have survived!!

This past school year has been the hardest school year for me, bar none. I've faced new, very different people, Freshman, and myself.

I really can't even describe all that I've felt. While I was still in Indy, I was confident in my ability to adapt to change. I was convinced I could handle it. After all, I love change. Oh gosh. No one has the ability to handle this. Since I got here, I've gradually fallen deeper and deeper into the realization that I'm simply not happy here. And that's pretty big for me to admit, even if its just to myself.

I also believed that I could handle the new people. I thought that I was a strong enough person to take on everyone. I would have sworn that I was happy enough being unique. I've now come to the understanding that I was, maybe even am, nothing without my best friend (yeah, that's right, I'm talking about you M). In fact, my so-called "originality" has suffered this past school year. Don't die M, I'm not giving in yet.

I think this would be a good time to mention at least something small that's good. As I started seeing the changes in me, I decided that I couldn't rely on other people to give me confidence. So, I developed a dream. I've been lacking a dream, or really any sort of belief in myself. My dream involves in me being different and set aside, which I think is how it should be. It will also involve a lot of work and it will test my character in more ways than one, but I truly believe that I can do it. And...I don't think I'll settle for less, as terrible as that sounds.

I've also noticed that there is actually a very large difference between Sophomores and Freshman! Shocker! It's not that they're completely stupid or anything, it's that they're completely immature in the ways of high school and being a teenager. M said it best: Freshman year is like an extended 8th grade year. You're not in middle school, but you certainly don't act like a high schooler. I can't figure them at all, but hey, this is the LAST time that I'll have to live with any of this. Even though I'll never be able to avoid the fact that I will still graduate with half the diploma than I would've if I were back at my other school.

And I think that may be all that I can put into words right now. All I can really say to conclude this is I AM SO GLAD ITS OVER!!! The school year, that is. My issues with the move will continue. Ugh. :]

Another random excerpt

"No, Dad, " I spat out at him, glad to be rid of that awful word, "this ends right now." Just after I said that, I felt nine pairs of shocked eyes staring at me.

For a moment I felt a little panicked. Dad? I shouldn't have just thrown personal information out in front of my team like that. How could I be so stupid?

After I had regained a normal heart rate, I realized my mistake may not have been so serious. Yes, I just gave away the single most important detail in my life, but I meant what I said. This, all of this, ends here, now, in this room. Blood father or no, this man is going to die by his unworthy daughter's sword, and nothing about my past means much after that.