*head desk*

Wow, how long has it been since I last wrote? Its funny how I start almost all my blogs off like that nowadays, but oh well. Life is busy, but life goes on.

Anywho, about Nouveau... Things are going slowly. I started on ch. 2, but then I hit a wall (ouch). A lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm still confused on the layout for the Nouveau series. I could easily make it a trilogy, but I love the titles too much! I could never sacrifice even one of them! So then I thought about simply adding to the story; adding more twists and turns to it. There are 2 problems with that though: 1) I suck eggs at adding twists to a story. I need help! 2) do you think that makes the story TOO long? I wonder if the story would be too boring then. However, my characters provide most of the interest in my story, Katana particularly. Which brings me to my next problem: when should my readers officially learn about Katana's father (the fact that her daddy is the most hated person in the story)? Should I really drop hints through 4 books? You'd think they'd find out about it before then. Plus, in the third book, Katana goes to a meeting with Moxely (her dad) and its kinda obvious that they're related. *exasperated sigh* I don't know...I really need outside opinions.

I have some clips I've written recently though:

I'll start with my favorite:

...And then she smiled darkly at me. She stared at me through beautiful, cold eyes that seemed eager for a fight.

That's when I knew.

That's when I realized how formidable of an opponent Katana could truly be.

In her eyes I saw a confidence that couldn't be thwarted; I saw no fear of death; and I saw no fear of killing.

In her eyes I saw every other man who had fallen under the weight of her gaze, and how few lived to wake up screaming at the memory.
*end*

That was something I thought up one morning before school. Its from Aidan's point of view, so I need to change it to 3rd person.

Next up: a prologue I wrote for Cage Rattlers

I ran.

I ran so hard and so long that my chest seared with useless, dry air. My bare, scraped feet throbbed with every pound against the rough, hard pavement. I felt as though I'd be sick. But I ran anyway.

I ran from my enemies. I ran from myself. And I ran from nothing. I ran for miles, passing countless buildings, only to return to my spot once again. And still I kept running.

Fear coursed inside me as thick as the blood that ran next to it. I didn't know why, but I had to run, to get away. So I ran. I ran and ran and ran until I collapsed. Familiar, hated voices came at me then. Then mocked me. Spat at me. Beat me, telling me everything I feared and knew to be true. They confirmed my darkest suspicions and labeled me by them. Then, when they were finally through, they moved in to finally end me.

I woke with a start. My breath was heavy and ragged as if I had actually run for hours. Sweat slid down my face, arms, and chest in beads.

I was only partially a dream though.

The rest was real.
*end*

Welp, I hope you enjoyed that! Give lots and lots of comments!!! Even more critiques please!

Wow, its been a while

I didn't realize how long it'd been since I'd been on last until I saw how much everyone else had been posting. Anywho, I finally wrote something I like! I haven't been writing much anyway, but I was inspired last night and wrote this. I hope you enjoy it as much as me! Of course, I may be overreacting.


I was so mad. Not mad. I was hysterically and irrationally furious. I don't think I'd ever been this insanely irritated before. I wanted to pull my hair out and throw every piece of furniture I could find across the room. I wanted to break the faces of anybody, everybody, and anything I laid eyes on. I wanted to break something, anything as long as it would provide a satisfying crack, bang, boom, or whatever at the end of it all.

Oh I hated Azzo.

I hated him for those piercing dark brown eyes of his. I hated how he always knew what to say and how to say it so that I always felt like every other girl. Innocent, soft, and always capable of being loved and forgiven. Why did he have to make me feel that way? Couldn't he see me for what I am? Guilty, cold, and deserving the worst punishment in Hell for all the lies I'd told, the lives I'd stolen, and the hatred I'd carried with me my entire life. Why couldn't he just tell me I was wrong and I was stupid and I was nobody, no good, a liar, a murderer, a snake, a thief, a rogue, a villain, heartless, soulless, and incapable of love, trust, or kindness in any way shape or form? Why couldn't he slap me on the face and tell me all the things I knew to be true?

Instead he told me this: that I was strong and good and honorable and brave and...human. He told be that I was hopeful and valiant. He told be I was loved.

He looked at me with those knowing brown eyes and told me I was flawed, but weren't we all? He told me that I would fight passed all those demons that weighed me down and that nothing could ever stand in my way.

He told me that I was the hero, not the villain. Could that even be possible? Could hero and villain possibly inhabit the same body and mind? A girl who viciously and without mercy attacked unsuspecting victims, but at the same time she'd saved the day?

I didn't know what to believe anymore. And I hated that. I'd always known what I was and what I wasn't. And now, because of Azzo, I didn't know anymore. And I hated that. I hated that more than anything.

I punched the brick wall next to me so hard that I heard the satisfying crack of a bone in my hand breaking.

Updates

Okay, I need some serious opinions. I've been playing with ideas for AF again (ha, like I ever actually stop). More specifically I've been considering the setting.

You already know that it takes place in a futuristic society not really related in anyway to our reality. You also know that this is a written novel and not a graphic novel. So, I've been wondering exactly how futuristic I should make the story. See, if I make it super futuristic like one of Orson Scott Card's novels about the future of Earth, it requires a stronger basis for the setting, like basing in in Earth's future or on a planet most people are familiar with. If I just have a random super futuristic setting that's unrelated to anything and I'm using gadgets that some people might not understand, I'm just going to leave my reader's so confused they forget what the story's about, much less what's happening in it.

Therefore, I'm thinking about making the setting a little more present day. Have my characters use more modern weapons and have the city resemble more of New York than a future city on Mars. I'm going to dial down the technology. Not a whole lot though. Aidan and his family are still going to be inventors for super gadgets, but when you think about it, the "super gadgets" that I have in mind are already in some sort of plans right now.

Also, if I'm toning down the technology a little, I've considered changing the whole attire of Katana. I don't know if you remember the very detailed appearance she has. It's very difficult to describe in a book. So, I think I'm going to take off her "headgear" (ha ha) and arm band thing-a-ma-gigs. I'm going to keep her hair down, and I think I'll add a black smear into her hair. When I look, Avril Lavigne actually looks a lot like what I imagine Katana to look like, especially with the blonde hair and pink smear. And I promise, I only just realized that a few weeks ago. I've been drawing Katana for a couple years now.

(see, she even has the hazel eyes!)

Anywho, I'll draw up a "new" Katana and send it to you M.

What do you think? In your honest opinion of a written novel, would you read it and be genuinely interested? Without all my explanations of things in the past, do you think the story would make sense to you? PLEASE REPLY

Something people could benefit from:

I've realized something today that I think people will benefit from. A sort of wisdom I guess. Well, maybe not wisdom, but I sure wish I had somebody to tell me this. Be warned though, it's religious. Please don't stop reading though. I promise I'm not going to scream "may the power of Christ compel you" and smack you with a Bible. That would be bad.

But seriously, I think I finally, and truly, understand why people give their lives to God. I was always taught that you did that because you loved him (or her, but personally, I don't think God's controlled by gender). That's not wrong, that is part of it, it's not like I've been lied to my whole life, but I've realized the heart of the matter. It's not that people have such wonderful lives on Earth as Christians (because that's not true at all), it's that comparatively, life SUCKS without God in it.

When I was studying the Bible and was a new Christian in 7th and 8th grade, I was passionate for God. He was the first thought on my mind, I prayed to him in between classes, I was peaceful, content, and happy. Of course, things weren't perfect. A Christian's life never is. People think that Christians have it easy, that they go to church because it's the easy way out. But it isn't! It's a daily struggle. Is it worth it? In my experience on both sides...yes. I'd say that yes, it's worth every tear shed.

When I say "both sides", I mean that, in the past year especially, I've fallen out of the passion that I once had. It's not that God isn't worth getting excited about, no! I wish I could scream his goodness at the top of my lungs and talk seriously with my best friend about how much love she can find in him. It all sounds cliche, I know, but I can't stress the truth in it enough.

Anyhow, I haven't shown my excitement for God to either my friends, strangers, or even God. It's terrible. And I realized today that I'm miserable about it. Not guilty, my life is just weighted and meaningless. I go through the motions day to day. I smile, I laugh, but peace and contentment is never found. The things I never used to care much about like money and material, worldly crap are suddenly on my mind more than God. It's terrible. It's not the life I want to live, especially after I've experienced a life with God.

I don't know what to tell people who aren't already familiar with God. I just wish there was somebody there when I was baptized to tell me that I was making the right choice. Eternal life aside, I don't want to live any life here on Earth unless it's for my God in Heaven. I'd rather die. Let me put it this way: When a person is given the choice of servanthood or death, which are they going to choose? Or, when a person is given the choice of serving a kind master or being a slave to a cruel master who will beat you down mentally and physically every day, which are they going to choose? It's still serving, but when serving a kind master, the person has the opportunities of love, freedom, and rewards at the end of their time.

I don't know if any of this makes sense to anyone, but I'm telling the truth. The honest to God truth. And I want everyone out there to know that the lives you're living are petty and harder than they need to be. After all, Jesus once said (I can't remember the actually verse) "come to me all who are weary". And I feel very worn out. What about you?

Picture time!

I'm really bored, so I thought I'd post some semi-new stuff I got for AF. Be warned, its quite stupid.

See, I love photography and looking at pictures others have taken. You must also know that I absolutely ADORE cheesy phrases (although those aren't featured here) and lyrics to songs. So, what happened is that I thought one day, "hey, I think I'll go online and find pictures of people that I can use to represent some of my characters. And, while I'm at it, I'll find cheesy songs that represent them too. Genius!" So the product is this: (the songs I found have been accumulated into the playlist above and are songs for either Katana or Nouveau as a whole)

The pictures here of my characters are not exact by any means, but you get the basic idea. For instance, Katana's hair is usually tied back, Aidan does not have curly hair (but if you like it, that can change), and Azzo looks a couple years older than this. Anywho, on with the pictures:

Katana:







Aidan:










Azzo:





Random other pictures that go along with AF:









So, did you like them? No, you probably thought it was a waste of a blog, but oh well. I wasted the time I needed. However, I actually do like this stuff, so if you like any of these pictures or have comments or even hate mail, please send it to me! Although, I'd rather not get the hate mail...

PS: these lovely photos are courtesy of DeviantArt.com

*laughs*

Gosh, I love high school. Usually I'm just annoyed by everyone, but this year I spend most of my day just laughing. For example, let me tell you about my day.

The history teacher I had last year is also the same one that I have for AP US History. She's so cool and our class has so much fun together (of course, it's also nice being in a class with only 8 other students in it ;D). Anywho, today was more funny than the usual. We were studying the early English colonies in the Americas (Roanoke, Newfoundland, Jamestown...) and in doing such, discussed some of the theorized reasons of what happened to Roanoke. And, I didn't know this, some people apparently actually believe that Roanoke and Atlantis are the same place. XD I got a kick out of that.

But even better yet: apparently there is a very large (like, gargantuan) difference between Walt Disney's version of Pocahontas and what actually happened. Now, most of this I already new, but I just found out the best details of the story today.

The Walt Disney Pocahontas:

The very handsome, very blonde-haired, blue-eyed John Smith comes to the Americas and meets the beautiful young woman Pocahontas. In the period of a few minutes, the two learn how to communicate in a complete language. In the period of a few days, the two fall into a love so deep that Pocahontas is determined that if John Smith is to die, so shall she. Then, in the movie's sequel, Pocahontas meets John Rolfe and journeys forth to England with him on a whim. The two slightly more slowly fall in love and on their way back to the New World, they share a kiss while venturing on towards the sunset. Aww.

Reality:

John Smith was the only person in the Jamestown colony who cared enough about not dying of starvation (because everyone else was too concerned with finding gold). Pocahontas was 12 years old and bald (because Indian children had their heads shaved). They never fell in love. Years later, when Pocahontas is between the ages of 18 and 20, a war is going on between the English settlers and the Indians. The only thing that stalls this dispute is the marriage between Pocahontas and John Rolfe, although, there is belief that there was love in the relationship. The couple then spent a few years in England, but on the return trip, Pocahontas dies of illness. When the dispute between the settlers and Indians starts up again, John Rolfe can't help because he's too immersed in his tobacco industry.

Reality sucks.

Then, later on in Chemistry, we had a small quiz over different tools and such around the lab. One of the things on the quiz was a crucible (a crucible is a tiny bowl used for super-heating things). My teacher asked us if we new what the similarity between the crucible the object and The Crucible the book. No one knew. She then asked what The Crucible was about. Someone told her it was about the Salem witch trials. She then asked, knowing that, what we thought a crucible was for and someone muttered behind me, "Killing witches?" I burst out laughing, drawing much attention to myself.

*laughs* I don't know whether I've finally snapped, or if I'm just reasonably having fun.

Um...well...

Well, I don't have anything prepared to write and I certainly haven't written anything particularly interesting recently, so I'm just going to spout out all sorts of nonsense. How cool is that?

The most interesting thing I've done with AF is come up with some new quotes and random scenes (which I have yet to write out completely). Would you like to hear some of the quotes? Yes, of course you would. But I swear, if you steal them without my permission, I will rip out your spine and beat you with it. No joke.


"I'll sleep when I can sleep with both eyes closed." -Katana

"My life is a worst-case scenario. Plan on it." -Katana

"You're running on empty, Katana. You and the rest of Nouveau. You can't keep going like this forever." -Maximillien

"I'm not asking you to trust everyone Yoko, I'm just asking you to trust me." -Azzo

"What are you going to do?" (Ze) "We're going to give them hell." (Katana)


Yeah, they're not superb, but they'll do for now. I'm still frustrated with the character of Aidan. I keep calling him a main character and a good chunk of the story is told by him, but I don't "know him". I don't have a personality or a motive or anything for him! It's driving me crazy!! (Azzo, on the other hand, is starting to make me blush. I love him so much! *huggles Azzo*)

Speaking of awesome characters that make me blush. Let me rant about Fang and the rest of the totally wicked awesome series Maximum Ride by James Patterson. Yeesh. If you thought I was bad about the Twilight series, wait 'till I get going on Maximum Ride. A guy in my English class introduced me to it earlier this year (before the whole Twilight thing) and I swear it was love at first sight. Okay, maybe not that serious. But I do love the characters SO much and I have since the beginning. Especially Max (Maximum Ride, the girl after whom the book is titled) and Fang (the "tall, dark, and handsome" "strong and silent" type guy who has me gushing).

Now, just to be perfectly clear. Fang is not like Edward Cullen in any way shape or form. Actually, there isn't even much of a hint of a relationship between him and Max until the second book. And that's all their relationship really is. A hint. Stuff happens. But nothing serious. So M, don't be put off simply because I said that Fang has me gushing.

Back to the rest of the series. Did I met ion that absolutely adore this story? Of course, later in the series it becomes apparent that the villain that Max and the rest of the flock have to save the world from is global warming (ugh, gag me), but its still good enough to read. There were parts of the fourth book that had me laughing out loud (because of the global warming rants), but I swear, even with that, I still am totally in love with the story. Okay, not so much the story as the characters. The characters are so real and cool that they write the story themselves and cover up all the laughable global warming crap...and that's saying something!

Well, I think I've gone on talking long enough. So I'll leave you with this: THE MAXIMUM RIDE MOVIE WILL BE COMING OUT IN 2009/2010!!!!!!! WOOT!!

Oh, wait. Does anyone out there know how many times a person can burn so bad that they blister before they get melanoma? (hows that for random? ha!)