Can't put this off anymore...

"It is time". I quote the Lion King for this is a blog that I have put off for the last month or so. But now that I've quoted Lion King, I'll be sitting here mumbling "Mufasa..." and giggling for the next hour. My dad will confirm your disbeliefs. "Mufasa..." *giggle*.

Look at me, I'm still stalling. So...this is my second Twilight blog. This is the Twilight blog where I discuss the Twilight movie. God help me. I've put this off, because if I had written this after watching the movie, it would have sounded like hate mail, and I probably would have been arrested for making plans for the deaths of at least 5 people. I'm going to try not to get carried away now, but I can make no garantees.

Let's start by saying this: the movie sucked my brother's moldy socks. For anyone who saw the movie, this is a "duh" statement. Its also needless to say that it wasn't worth the 10 freaking bucks I spent to see the movie. I can't say it was a waste of 2 hours of my life, seeing as how I love having something to rant and rave about. Especially when it's something every other girl in the world is squealing about like dying pigs (you see the bitterness I feel for this, right?).

On to the 5 hated people. First, there's Kristen Stewart, who plays Bella Swan. I've never seen an actress who s-s-stutters as much as she d-did in this movie. It was annoying!! Can she not remember her lines? Is that it? It can't be that hard (I'll get to that later). Ugh. Not to mention that she over-acts everthing. I was near hysterics laughing during the part where she realizes that Edward's a vampire. She is literally hyperventalating while she says that she's not afraid of him. I'm sitting there going, "Oh really?" The hosptial scene I can't even discribe. I'll put up this picture I found that I love so much. The best part about it is that this is EXACTLY how it happened in the movie.

Yeah. Pretty sad, huh? She's not the worst of them though. Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward Cullen, is much worse. MUCH worse. He was awkward. The character of Edward is not supposed to be awkward. He's supposed to be full of himself and overconfident, not at a loss for words. But he's REALLY not supposed to look as though he hasn't had a bowel movement in the last decade. In fact, no one's supposed to look like that. He just didn't need to act so serious. Serious is good, but that was overdone. In fact, there were only 2 scenes in the entire movie where he was laid back, and I must say that they were the 2 best scenes in the movie.

I refuse to get too carried away, so I'll just move on to the next victim. And that victim shall be...Jackson Rathbone who plays Jasper Hale. As much as I love Jackson off the screen, he was positively horrid in the movie. His expression throughout 99% of the film was that of someone who had a watermelon on a stick shoved up the anal area of the body. Quite unpleasant to experience, and even more to watch. His performance disappointed me more than any of the others. I expected the actors who played Bella and Edward to be overdone, but I was deeply saddend by Jasper. :'( See?

That's all for the actors and actresses that I had major issues with. I also was bothered by Alice's first formal entrance to the movie and Jake's blindingly white teeth against his dark skin, but I won't get into huge detail about those. Heehee, Jake's teeth made me laugh.

If you can count, which I hope you can, you know that I still have 2 people left to rag on. The next is whoever wrote the script. I mentioned earlier about how I couldn't understand why Kristen would have such problems with learning her lines. The script itself is why. I swear that the script to the entire Twilight movie has to be 20 pages, double-spaced. The entire movie was looking. Bella looking at Edward, Edward looking at Bella, the entire cast looking at nothing...the list goes on. No joke, there were entire scenes where not a word was spoken by anyone (except me whose in the audience muttering, "that's it?").

Last, but certainly not least in my list of people who ruined Twilight (though the book sucked to begin with), is Catherine Hardwicke, the director of the movie. I had such I respect for Catherine as a director, but this ruined everything. She was the one who should have told Robert, Kristen, and Jackson to tone it down a few hundred knotches. I also think she could have had some say in keeping important scenes in the book. My 2 favorite parts in the book were nowhere to be scene in the movie. It frustrated me. *sigh* I think I should end the rants there.

So that you don't leave hating me or my list of people, I'm going to completely end this blog on a funny note: I think I'm a vampire. Yeah, funny story. You might know that my eyes change color. Yeah, they change through various colors of green, brown, and hazel. Now, one day my eyes were a light shade of brown, almost a golden brown. It was really bright in my room when I looked in the mirror. I swear to you, my eyes were gold. Very vampirish. But wait, it gets better. A couple days later, I got out of the shower and went into my room (it was bright again) and I noticed something sparkling on my shoulder. My whole shoulder and part of my chest was sparkling. I burst out laughing. Forgive me, but I've died and now sparkle. I guess I'll meet up with the Cullen's in Forks now.